“Marcy’s Scones” – or “Why The British Lost the Battle of Yorktown”
Scones are definitely not an American pastry. The entire history of scones in the U.S. can be traced to Starbucks. Starbucks sells scones. At Starbucks, a scone costs something like $14, or roughly the price of a cup of their coffee. Scones were almost brought to this country by American troops who trained for the D-Day landings while stationed in Great Britain during 1943 and 1944, but after braving the machine gun fire and land mines of the Normandy beaches, they decided “Hey – we’ve suffered enough. The hell with scones. Let’s introduce Tex-Mex cuisine instead.” The rest is history. Or as they say in Mexico, “el historio”.
Anyway, Marcy’s scones remind us of exactly why the British Army was beaten at Yorktown. Answer: the French. Marcy’s batch of scones, or as they say in France, “le merde”, suffered from a lack of seasoning. The logic is as follows:
• French support of the Colonials doomed the British army at Yorktown in 1781. No, really - it did – go look it up.
• French cooking is known for excellent use of seasonings. In fact, many sauces and seasoning mixes used in French cooking were reportedly developed to cover the taste of slightly spoiled meat before refrigeration. I’m assured this is true. Spoiled meat. Which brings us back to Marcy’s kitchen.
• Marcy’s scones need more seasoning. Although the recipe only calls for a little salt, these needed more salt than that. And possibly other seasonings. As is, they tasted more like a low-sodium scone.
• Had the cannons of the Colonial troops at Yorktown in 1781 been loaded with Marcy’s scones instead of cannonballs, it is almost certain that the United States would have received Canada as part of the surrender. Ice hockey would not be played or enjoyed anywhere. Marcy’s hockey puck-like muffins would no longer be requested by the neighborhood kids every winter like they are now.
Anyway, the TEXTURE was surprisingly good: light, fluffy, perfect as an accompaniment for coffee or tea. It was much lighter than most commercial muffins. Perhaps the closest approximation would be a dinner roll. So as far as texture, these deserve my highest compliment. The reader should keep in mind that I once ate one our dog’s peanut butter flavored biscuits because I was hungry. I was not enthralled with the dog biscuit, by the way. Although I finished the dog biscuit. No point leaving a half-eaten one around, right? In any case, the scones had great texture.
Now for flavor. I’ll be the first to admit I like my food well-seasoned, just on the mild side of spicy. I am no fan of low-sodium entrees. When/if I get even older and must cut my sodium intake, I intend to go on a salt-filled orgy of over-seasoning that will kill me and cause my coffin hinges to rust. Anyway. The recipe for these scones lacked seasoning in my opinion. Specifically salt. Whatever the recipe called for should be increased slightly. Perhaps teaspoons were bigger in 1929. Or maybe the salt was better before the Stock Market Crash of 1929 devalued it.
In any case, these scones needed more salt. That would have helped them A LOT, in this reviewer’s opinion. The cranberries and chocolate helped add some nice touches of flavor. Whether they are eaten with tea or coffee, the hot beverage will work well with these. It would work better with some salt, of course. Yes, you could add salt to the finished scone with a shaker. As if it was an ear of corn. You’re not supposed to shake salt on scones. This is why Starbucks does not have salt shakers on the tables.
And if they did, they’d probably charge $2 a shake. That’s Starbucks for ya. “Barrista“…. Yeah, right. It’s just A CASHIER WHO MAKES COFFEE, people…
Hmmmm........ I wonder if it's too late to put it back...
Overall rating: 3-1/2 happy faces; more salt would have added a whole happy face:
