So I returned home the other day. I am very fortunate that my job gives me a lot of vacation days, but it still seems like it is never enough. As I get older, I realize there are many things I have left to do and work interferes with that. My bucket list is so long, it is now a silo list.
I still have not watched every “Snapped” episode, tasted all the chocolate bars in the candy aisle (because I keep getting caught), or wrestled in lime jello. I may not look good wrestling in granny panties forever, especially if I accomplish the second thing. A 51 year-old body can only be duct taped in place for so long before the sticky stuff just isn’t strong enough anymore.
I think there should be a book given to everyone when they are born, explaining you need to use your time wisely. When I was younger, I thought my time on Earth was unlimited. I also thought walking in six inch heels was sexy instead of dangerous and that I’d always weigh 105 pounds. If I had realized I wasn’t going to be around forever, I would have bargained for more vacation time….. a lot more……
Vacation Is More Fun Than Reality
Author: HausmanComedyApr 16
My Year Of The “Anyone Can Bake” Challenge – Week #3
Author: HausmanComedyJan 16
Welcome to week #3 of the challenge, as I cook recipes from the 1929 book. I am beginning to think things were very different back then, in taste and texture…… or maybe it is just my baking.
This week I am attempting to make individual coffee cakes. I say ‘attempting’ because, no matter how many times I read the recipe first, it doesn’t seem to help. Maybe you’ll do better.
I gathered what I thought were all the ingredients together, so I could take the pic. I was wondering why there were no eggs in the recipe. It turns out there are – they had hidden them under the guise of ‘two eggs’. (Okay, as I was rereading this, I just noticed it said one egg and I put in two!) I also forgot the confectioner’s sugar.
I mixed all the dry ingredients together in a bowl, then added the shortening. So far, so good.
Next I beat the eggs (my favorite part – relieves stress).
Added in the milk, beat a little more……
Added the liquid ingredients into the dry, and mixed until it formed a soft dough.
I put it onto a lightly floured piece of wax paper and flattened it out a bit, so I could cut it into six equal pieces.
Well, they were supposed to be equal…….
Now here is where I should have paid closer attention. I flattened and stretched out each piece and cut it in half.
Brushed each half with melted butter……
Folded the half onto itself…..
And started twisting it into the cresent shape. It was really hard to twist such a small piece. Turns out I wasn’t supposed to cut it in half. I thought the recipe made twelve coffee cakes. Really, really small cakes. I guess it would have been much easier if I paid attention to the recipe, especially the part where it said makes six.
They are not looking like any crescents you would find at a store.
All twelve are ready to be sprinkled with chopped nuts and put in the oven. I brushed them with a little more butter, just so the nuts would stick.
All sprinkled and ready to bake. I didn’t put nuts on a few, because I know Jon prefers without. Now this is in the “But I knew better” department – baking them at 450 degrees for 20 minutes is going to leave me with burnt nuts…. which it did.
All baked, burnt nuts and all, and ready to ice with the confectioner’s sugar and water mixture.
Now here is what mine looked like……
And this is what the looked like back in 1929. Jon said to me, “That photo of them looks great! They came out so perfect.” This was the pic he was looking at. 
Here are my thoughts, when I was starving – “These are good.” Here are my thoughts after I ate a few – “Why did I eat those?”
I am not sure how much my screw-ups contributed, so I can’t really blame the recipe. It certainly isn’t close to what we think of as a coffee cake today. There is very little sugar in these recipes, much different from the cups of sugar called for in most of today’s recipes. To me, it seems much more like a biscuit than a cake. If you are looking for a sweet piece of cake, this is not the recipe for you. If you are after something to go with a cup of coffee, it wouldn’t be the worst thing you could choose. I know, not a ringing endorsement…… but at least the squirrels wouldn’t bring these back. Until next time…..
Follow Up To Baking Challenge Week #1 Biscuits
Author: HausmanComedyJan 7
So after a few days, it turns out the biscuits were too dry cough, cough for me to eat. Jon suggested writing ‘NHL’ on each one. Trying to do a good thing, I put them out in the backyard. I figured the wildlife could use some extra food during the long winter.
.
Well, it turns out the squirrels in the neighborhood can be very cruel heartless SUPER MEAN. When I came home, this is what I found by my front door.
I guess I shouldn’t be surprised. AJ, the dog, didn’t want them either. He said his dental plan wasn’t good enough to cover the damage. Wise ass.
Tomorrow’s baking challenge will be scones. I’ll see ya back here then.
Life As I See It
Author: HausmanComedyDec 26
The holidays can be hard. It is too easy to focus on what we wanted and didn’t receive, or received but didn’t want. Friday night I went to a 55th wedding anniversary party for Jon’s Aunt and Uncle.
They showed a video of their years together and in it there were shots of Jon’s Mom, who passed away five years ago. The day after she died, there had been a big party planned to celebrate her 75th birthday. It would have been the first time in decades that her four children would be home at the same time.
As I sat at the anniversary celebration, I was really overwhelmed by my emotions – the joy I felt being surrounded by family, and the sadness that not everyone was around to join in.
I thought back to all the things I ever wanted, just had to have, or couldn’t live without. I don’t even remember what they were, let alone know where they are now,……. nor do I care.
What I realize now, as I get older, is what is precious – family, friends, and people that brighten my life. It doesn’t get any better than that.
(From my mind to yours – MEH)
The Twelve Menopausal Days Of Christmas
Author: HausmanComedyDec 25
On the first day of Christmas,
my true love said to me
“You have one chin hair”.
On the second day of Christmas,
my true love said to me
“You have one chin hair”,
Plus I tripped over my nipples twice.
On the third day of Christmas,
my true love said to me
“You have one chin hair”,
Plus I tripped over my nipples twice,
And I discovered three sets of car keys in the fridge.
On the fourth day of Christmas,
my true love said to me
“You have one chin hair”,
Plus I tripped over my nipples twice,
I discovered three sets of car keys in the fridge,
And I washed my hair four times because I couldn’t remember if I had just done it.
On the fifth day of Christmas,
my true love said to me
“You have one chin hair”,
Plus I tripped over my nipples twice,
I discovered three sets of car keys in the fridge,
I washed my hair four times because I couldn’t remember if I had just done it,
And I put on five pairs of pants until I found a pair I could zip up.
On the sixth day of Christmas,
my true love said to me
“You have one chin hair”,
Plus I tripped over my nipples twice,
I discovered three sets of car keys in the fridge,
I washed my hair four times because I couldn’t remember if I had just done it,
I put on five pairs of pants until I found a pair I could zip up,
And I had six people tell me I am too old for ‘Hottie’ shorts.
On the seventh day of Christmas,
my true love said to me
“You have one chin hair”,
Plus I tripped over my nipples twice,
I discovered three sets of car keys in the fridge,
I washed my hair four times because I couldn’t remember if I had just done it,
I put on five pairs of pants until I found a pair I could zip up,
I had six people tell me I am too old for ‘Hottie’ shorts,
And I counted seven new varicose veins.
On the eighth day of Christmas,
my true love said to me
“You have one chin hair”,
Plus I tripped over my nipples twice,
I discovered three sets of car keys in the fridge,
I washed my hair four times because I couldn’t remember if I had just done it,
I put on five pairs of pants until I found a pair I could zip up,
I had six people tell me I am too old for ‘Hottie’ shorts,
I counted seven new varicose veins,
And I walked into a room eight times and didn’t know why.
On the ninth day of Christmas,
my true love said to me
“You have one chin hair”,
Plus I tripped over my nipples twice,
I discovered three sets of car keys in the fridge,
I washed my hair four times because I couldn’t remember if I had just done it,
I put on five pairs of pants until I found a pair I could zip up,
I had six people tell me I am too old for ‘Hottie’ shorts,
I counted seven new varicose veins,
I walked into a room eight times and didn’t know why,
And I had to pee nine times in one hour.
On the tenth day of Christmas,
my true love said to me
“You have one chin hair”,
Plus I tripped over my nipples twice,
I discovered three sets of car keys in the fridge,
I washed my hair four times because I couldn’t remember if I had just done it,
I put on five pairs of pants until I found a pair I could zip up,
I had six people tell me I am too old for ‘Hottie’ shorts,
I counted seven new varicose veins,
I walked into a room eight times and didn’t know why,
I had to pee nine times in one hour,
And I ate ten pieces of chocolate cheesecake.
On the eleventh day of Christmas,
my true love said to me
“You have one chin hair”,
Plus I tripped over my nipples twice,
I discovered three sets of car keys in the fridge,
I washed my hair four times because I couldn’t remember if I had just done it,
I put on five pairs of pants until I found a pair I could zip up,
I had six people tell me I am too old for ‘Hottie’ shorts,
I counted seven new varicose veins,
I walked into a room eight times and didn’t know why,
I had to pee nine times in one hour,
I ate ten pieces of chocolate cheesecake,
And I had eleven hormonal rages.
On the twelfth day of Christmas,
my true love said to me
“You have one chin hair”,
Plus I tripped over my nipples twice,
I discovered three sets of car keys in the fridge,
I washed my hair four times because I couldn’t remember if I had just done it,
I put on five pairs of pants until I found a pair I could zip up,
I had six people tell me I am too old for ‘Hottie’ shorts,
I counted seven new varicose veins,
I walked into a room eight times and didn’t know why,
I had to pee nine times in one hour,
I ate ten pieces of chocolate cheesecake,
I had eleven hormonal rages,
And I’ll be eligible for parole in twelve years.
- Dor on Vacation Is More Fun Than Reality
- Adrienne on My Year Of The “Anyone Can Bake” Challenge – Week #2
- HausmanComedy on My Year Of The “Anyone Can Bake” Challenge – Week #2
- June Benson on My Year Of The “Anyone Can Bake” Challenge – Week #2
- Jokin' Jonny Moocow on Jon’s Review for Week #3 – COFFEE CAKES
- April 2012 (2)
- January 2012 (9)
- December 2011 (4)
- October 2011 (1)
Blog Of A Peri-Menopausal Woman....... When I Remember. : Since I had such a great time reading everyone's responses to my question from yesterday, today I will ask - "What is the one thing that ALWAYS makes you laugh?"
(Wed Oct 17, 8:50 pm).
- Dor on Vacation Is More Fun Than Reality
- Adrienne on My Year Of The “Anyone Can Bake” Challenge – Week #2
- HausmanComedy on My Year Of The “Anyone Can Bake” Challenge – Week #2
- June Benson on My Year Of The “Anyone Can Bake” Challenge – Week #2
- Jokin' Jonny Moocow on Jon’s Review for Week #3 – COFFEE CAKES