So I returned home the other day. I am very fortunate that my job gives me a lot of vacation days, but it still seems like it is never enough. As I get older, I realize there are many things I have left to do and work interferes with that. My bucket list is so long, it is now a silo list.
I still have not watched every “Snapped” episode, tasted all the chocolate bars in the candy aisle (because I keep getting caught), or wrestled in lime jello. I may not look good wrestling in granny panties forever, especially if I accomplish the second thing. A 51 year-old body can only be duct taped in place for so long before the sticky stuff just isn’t strong enough anymore.
I think there should be a book given to everyone when they are born, explaining you need to use your time wisely. When I was younger, I thought my time on Earth was unlimited. I also thought walking in six inch heels was sexy instead of dangerous and that I’d always weigh 105 pounds. If I had realized I wasn’t going to be around forever, I would have bargained for more vacation time….. a lot more……
Archive for the ‘ Ramblings ’ Category
Vacation Is More Fun Than Reality
Author: HausmanComedyApr 16
I am technologically challenged. Is there a meeting for that?
Author: HausmanComedyApr 10
I am not so good with technology. Some things I get….. like wrinkles…. but, if it involves key strokes, I seem to be missing the brain cells to understand it. When I was younger, I excelled at logic problems. Now I can’t even figure out how to use a Tracfone.
I finally broke down and bought a Nook. Didn’t touch it for three days. I’m not sure what I was scared of, other than breaking it before I even got a book on there. I look around at everyone else, and they seem so at ease with these products. Is it in the DNA? Maybe I am just missing that gene and can blame it on my parents. That is so much better than admitting I am a peri-menopausal idiot.
When I first got a computer, I would try and talk to it to make it do what I wanted. Pushing random buttons hadn’t worked, and I didn’t know what else to do. Eventually I would have to call in my husband to fix things. When he would ask me what happened, I would tell him I didn’t know and that the computer did it on its own. It was like having a baby – I was just as clueless, only it didn’t matter if I forgot to feed or change it. Which is why I don’t have kids, but I digress.
Contrary to what people think, I really do try to ‘get’ it. All their explaining could be in a foreign language, I understand so little of it. This is what I hear, “Blah, blah, blah, Marcy, are you listening?, blah, blah, blah”. I fall further and further behind each day. I think I am a ‘toaster oven’ gal in a microwave world…… which is another thing I haven’t yet mastered, even though I’ve had the microwave for three years now. I know it has different settings, I just can’t figure out how to use them. Luckily I do know how to use paper towels, to clean up the mess I’ve made after the food explodes inside it from cooking at the wrong temperature.
I try to cope as best I can. For now I still go to the library, order lots of take-out, and keep two cans and a long string in the car…… you know, in case I have an emergency.
The New Year
Author: HausmanComedyDec 31
As I reflect back on 2011, I cannot help but reflect back on my life as well. At age fifty, there are many things which, if I could change, I would. But life gives us no choice of a ‘do-over’. What I realize is that everything I have experienced has contributed to the person that I am today. And I am okay with that.
Perhaps fate has had a hand in things that I could not see or control. Maybe there is a reason for everything. I don’t know. The answers evade me. Today I am at peace, and that is a nice feeling. I don’t know what the rest of the day holds or where I will be tomorrow. But I will not fret about what was, what could have been, or what will be. You can choose to do the same. Or you can waste precious time worrying about what cannot be undone. I see no alternative.
Wishing you all a safe and happy New Year, filled with laughter and love. And if you are driving tonight, please don’t drink….. and don’t let your friends do it, either. Remember, there are no ‘do-overs’.
(From my mind to yours – MEH)
Life As I See It
Author: HausmanComedyDec 26
The holidays can be hard. It is too easy to focus on what we wanted and didn’t receive, or received but didn’t want. Friday night I went to a 55th wedding anniversary party for Jon’s Aunt and Uncle.
They showed a video of their years together and in it there were shots of Jon’s Mom, who passed away five years ago. The day after she died, there had been a big party planned to celebrate her 75th birthday. It would have been the first time in decades that her four children would be home at the same time.
As I sat at the anniversary celebration, I was really overwhelmed by my emotions – the joy I felt being surrounded by family, and the sadness that not everyone was around to join in.
I thought back to all the things I ever wanted, just had to have, or couldn’t live without. I don’t even remember what they were, let alone know where they are now,……. nor do I care.
What I realize now, as I get older, is what is precious – family, friends, and people that brighten my life. It doesn’t get any better than that.
(From my mind to yours – MEH)
The Twelve Menopausal Days Of Christmas
Author: HausmanComedyDec 25
On the first day of Christmas,
my true love said to me
“You have one chin hair”.
On the second day of Christmas,
my true love said to me
“You have one chin hair”,
Plus I tripped over my nipples twice.
On the third day of Christmas,
my true love said to me
“You have one chin hair”,
Plus I tripped over my nipples twice,
And I discovered three sets of car keys in the fridge.
On the fourth day of Christmas,
my true love said to me
“You have one chin hair”,
Plus I tripped over my nipples twice,
I discovered three sets of car keys in the fridge,
And I washed my hair four times because I couldn’t remember if I had just done it.
On the fifth day of Christmas,
my true love said to me
“You have one chin hair”,
Plus I tripped over my nipples twice,
I discovered three sets of car keys in the fridge,
I washed my hair four times because I couldn’t remember if I had just done it,
And I put on five pairs of pants until I found a pair I could zip up.
On the sixth day of Christmas,
my true love said to me
“You have one chin hair”,
Plus I tripped over my nipples twice,
I discovered three sets of car keys in the fridge,
I washed my hair four times because I couldn’t remember if I had just done it,
I put on five pairs of pants until I found a pair I could zip up,
And I had six people tell me I am too old for ‘Hottie’ shorts.
On the seventh day of Christmas,
my true love said to me
“You have one chin hair”,
Plus I tripped over my nipples twice,
I discovered three sets of car keys in the fridge,
I washed my hair four times because I couldn’t remember if I had just done it,
I put on five pairs of pants until I found a pair I could zip up,
I had six people tell me I am too old for ‘Hottie’ shorts,
And I counted seven new varicose veins.
On the eighth day of Christmas,
my true love said to me
“You have one chin hair”,
Plus I tripped over my nipples twice,
I discovered three sets of car keys in the fridge,
I washed my hair four times because I couldn’t remember if I had just done it,
I put on five pairs of pants until I found a pair I could zip up,
I had six people tell me I am too old for ‘Hottie’ shorts,
I counted seven new varicose veins,
And I walked into a room eight times and didn’t know why.
On the ninth day of Christmas,
my true love said to me
“You have one chin hair”,
Plus I tripped over my nipples twice,
I discovered three sets of car keys in the fridge,
I washed my hair four times because I couldn’t remember if I had just done it,
I put on five pairs of pants until I found a pair I could zip up,
I had six people tell me I am too old for ‘Hottie’ shorts,
I counted seven new varicose veins,
I walked into a room eight times and didn’t know why,
And I had to pee nine times in one hour.
On the tenth day of Christmas,
my true love said to me
“You have one chin hair”,
Plus I tripped over my nipples twice,
I discovered three sets of car keys in the fridge,
I washed my hair four times because I couldn’t remember if I had just done it,
I put on five pairs of pants until I found a pair I could zip up,
I had six people tell me I am too old for ‘Hottie’ shorts,
I counted seven new varicose veins,
I walked into a room eight times and didn’t know why,
I had to pee nine times in one hour,
And I ate ten pieces of chocolate cheesecake.
On the eleventh day of Christmas,
my true love said to me
“You have one chin hair”,
Plus I tripped over my nipples twice,
I discovered three sets of car keys in the fridge,
I washed my hair four times because I couldn’t remember if I had just done it,
I put on five pairs of pants until I found a pair I could zip up,
I had six people tell me I am too old for ‘Hottie’ shorts,
I counted seven new varicose veins,
I walked into a room eight times and didn’t know why,
I had to pee nine times in one hour,
I ate ten pieces of chocolate cheesecake,
And I had eleven hormonal rages.
On the twelfth day of Christmas,
my true love said to me
“You have one chin hair”,
Plus I tripped over my nipples twice,
I discovered three sets of car keys in the fridge,
I washed my hair four times because I couldn’t remember if I had just done it,
I put on five pairs of pants until I found a pair I could zip up,
I had six people tell me I am too old for ‘Hottie’ shorts,
I counted seven new varicose veins,
I walked into a room eight times and didn’t know why,
I had to pee nine times in one hour,
I ate ten pieces of chocolate cheesecake,
I had eleven hormonal rages,
And I’ll be eligible for parole in twelve years.
How To Get To The Funniest Page On FaceBook!
Author: HausmanComedyDec 3
-
Here’s a link:
https://www.facebook.com/pages/Blog-Of-A-Peri-Menopausal-Woman-When-I-Remember/224081064292470
(or)
1) Go to FaceBook by using the FACEBOOK link on our home page (Under ‘BLOGROLL’)
2) Sign in to FaceBook
3) Just go to SEARCH at the top and enter “Blog Of A Peri-Menopausal Woman……. When I Remember“.
IT’S REALLY THAT SIMPLE!!!!
Who are these people?
Author: HausmanComedyOct 30
First of all, only two of them are people. We have:
JON HAUSMAN and MARCY ELKIN HAUSMAN
plus JOKIN’ JONNY MOOCOW
The last of which is a cow. And not even a talented cow.
2012 Special!!!
Marcy is in the middle of her ‘ANYONE CAN BAKE‘ Challenge, in which she will take ONE recipe per week from the 1929 ROYAL “Anyone Can Bake” cookbook and bake it from scratch. Might come out good, might not. Marcy is not a professional baker, although she IS studying to be an exterminator.
To COMMENT on any POST, simply click the words below the post where it reads “1 COMMENT“, or “0 COMMENTS“, or whatever number. IT REALLY WORKS!!
- Dor on Vacation Is More Fun Than Reality
- Adrienne on My Year Of The “Anyone Can Bake” Challenge – Week #2
- HausmanComedy on My Year Of The “Anyone Can Bake” Challenge – Week #2
- June Benson on My Year Of The “Anyone Can Bake” Challenge – Week #2
- Jokin' Jonny Moocow on Jon’s Review for Week #3 – COFFEE CAKES
- April 2012 (2)
- January 2012 (9)
- December 2011 (4)
- October 2011 (1)
Blog Of A Peri-Menopausal Woman....... When I Remember. : Since I had such a great time reading everyone's responses to my question from yesterday, today I will ask - "What is the one thing that ALWAYS makes you laugh?"
(Wed Oct 17, 8:50 pm).
- Dor on Vacation Is More Fun Than Reality
- Adrienne on My Year Of The “Anyone Can Bake” Challenge – Week #2
- HausmanComedy on My Year Of The “Anyone Can Bake” Challenge – Week #2
- June Benson on My Year Of The “Anyone Can Bake” Challenge – Week #2
- Jokin' Jonny Moocow on Jon’s Review for Week #3 – COFFEE CAKES